According to the texts I get—and pay for, at 20 cents an unsolicited pop—my name is Ralph. Or Frances, Jocelyn, or Janice. On my landline, I am generally addressed by my correct name, often in a tone that suggests the caller is a personal friend. “You’re so hard to get hold of! I’m so glad you answered the phone…” It spooks me. And I don’t want to answer their surveys and unsolicited questions. But you know, maybe I should, in a way that’s safe and entertaining. (To me. It's all about me, because I pay for the landline!)
Herewith, some examples:
“The Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria”
“Alba gu brath!”
“42”
“Tom Bombadil”
“Para Espanol, Marque el dos”
“Gordon Setter”
“Bee Balm”
“Que? No habla englais.”
“Ayn Rand”
“Hedera Helix”
“Porthos, Athos and Aramis”
"Do you know where your towel is?"
"Millard Fillmore"
The trick is, none of these answers have anything to do with the questions being asked. And there’s no “yes”, “no”, nothing that can be recorded and twisted to another purpose. Just the random answer. No “Stop calling me!” After all these callers are just doing their job. No “This number is on the National Do Not Call List.” That’s proven to be useless. Just a random answer. I think…it’s going to be fun.
I’ve tried it—and it is fun!
RSS Feed